Thursday, December 25, 2008


Merry Christmas Everybody!!
  • Well, my xmas day is almost gone edi.. But it was a good day.. Christmas always is.. I feel happy.. haha.. It's been a while la huh.. Ns is like in 1 and a half days!!! Sigh.. Now that it is so near, I don't wanna go.. Thinking bout it makes me a bit sad.. I'll definitely miss my family and my friends.. But I do wanna keep an open mind as I go.. So that I can make it a good experience and also have fun there.. Although I am oso worried about the toilets there.. hahaha.. Please let the toilets be clean an decent.. lol.. Well, I might not have time to blog anymore b4 going NS.. So this is goodbye to my blog for almost 3 months.. Ok people.. I love u all loads.. will miss u all!! *hugs and kisses*

Monday, December 22, 2008

What the hell is wrong with Pet Society???

What.Is.Wrong.With.Pet.Society??? Is everything around here just simply trying to make my life MISERABLE?? Like I am FREAKING bored, will you please just LET me get into that BLOODY Pet Society so I can amuse myself with something? Seriously, what have I ever did wrong to deserve something like that huh?? What The Hell la.. I just wanna go pet society and play also cannot!!! AAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!


  • Boring day.. Woke up at like 11 and then went brunch.. Came back and started practising some songs for caroling tonight, writing chords, composed my responsorial psalm.. Then, watched Tranformers.. Haven watched that show in a while.. I forgot that it was so GOOD.. haha.. Caroling tonight.. Not really in the mood.. Kinda tired.. And I don't feel the Xmas mood la.. But oh well, have to la, obligations la rite.. Nothing much to do.. I dun wanna emo again.. So I shall keep myself occupied da whole afternoon by playing in pet society.. Haha.. Ciao people..
I feel the tears fall down my face.. Tears fall down my face..


  • A lot of activities have passed, a lot of things have been done.. Lotsa photos taken too.. haha.. But I lazy wanna upload.. Gonna take Lene's advice and make this post a LITTLE bit less emo.. Well, Sg Long had our dinner and dance on the 19th, last Friday.. And I must say, it was a success, as usual.. Great theme(Mamma Mia), better food than last year, amazing performances, and SUPERB dancing.. haha.. wherever there's dancing, I am so there.. Our dance to Damaged by Danity Kane was good, and I had fun performing it.. Open dance floor was fun.. Danced till almost 12.30.. Wish it could hv been longer.. That dancing kinda made me miss prom.. Which obviously made me miss those crazy nut-case friends of mine.. Haha..
  • Then, on the 21st which was Sunday, we went to Mandarin Oriental for our caroling/performance there.. Again, a bit of glitches here and there but otherwise it was good.. We're the amazing HFC ma, so anything also we can pull off.. haha.. But tiring la.. so we cut short our performance a bit.. And it is now the 22nd edi.. Damn la.. Christmas is in 3 days.. Yet I don't feel it.. I think I'm just way too busy.. But good also la, it keeps me distracted from unnecessary stuff.. NS is in 5 days.. Gosh.. I kinda don't wanna go, but at the same time I do.. Just wanna run away from this place la at times.. Too many things going on..
  • In case I don't blog again before Christmas, just wanna wish everyone a Very Blessed and Merry Christmas.. And damn I miss Renu, Naim, Lis, Phoeb.. I'm telling you 4 we need to meet up b4 I go Ns.. And I'm missing Mark and Shaun too.. Without them, I got no Love Doctor and Mr Make-Me-Laugh to talk to.. haha..
I watch the rain fall from the sky.. Fall down..

Friday, December 19, 2008

random again la..

Went caroling today at Royal Selangor Club.. A bit of glitches here and there, but overall it was good la.. At least, it made me a TEENY WEENY bit happier.. So good thing oso la huh.. Hopefully tmr's dinner goes well and makes me even happier.. All I've been doing today is eat, eat, eat.. I am gonna be a fat pig for Xmas.. sigh.. Blame it all on the emoness.. it's making me eat too much.. Neway NS is in 8 days.. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

My 1 liner

I cried myself to sleep yesterday.. I think I'm gonna do it again today.. At least it drains my energy so I feel tired enough to sleep..

ranting it out part 2

I could not comprehend with the situation, so I just sat on the beach and cried.. I stare up at the sky, and I see the stars staring back.. Flickering gently, shining brightly.. I hugged myself as the tears streamed down my face.. I hear the water lapping against the shores, but other than that, silence.. Silence.. I've given up trying to stop myself from feeling this way.. I'm tired, all drained out of energy.. And so sitting there, imagining the laughter I used to have, I pick up my guitar and notebook.. And I write a song..

ranting it all out..

  • Before I start this ranting out session, just wanna wish the Lims a safe trip to and back from Rome and Finland, and Charlene a safe trip to and back from Australia.. And NS is in 10 days.. sigh..
  • Life pulls you in every direction sometimes.. While we are here on earth, we're fools to our lives.. Oblivious to many happenings, blind to many obvious truths.. At times, we see the light for that short moment, but it all fades away in that 1 minute.. There are many things that we see, but we choose NOT to accept, NOT to understand.. But rather to just dismiss everything as irrelevant facts.. But there comes a time in our lives, when we're forced to notice all the things we keep dismissing as unimportant.. We hide behind curtains of denial, but when the wind blows the curtains away, there's nothing to shield us anymore..
  • It's difficult to face the truth.. Especially since I've been pushing it all away for so long.. But I can't keep lying to myself.. My mind is just way too smart for it.. My heart might be saying "this is all worth it".. But my mind has now kicked into overdrive mode, it's too difficult to ignore the signals my brains keep sending.. In the battle between heart and mind, my heart used to win.. ALL the time.. Not anymore.. My heart is giving in to the persistent fights of my mind.. It's not so strong anymore.. And I have a hunch that it's happening because this time, my mind is right..
  • I watch things happen all around me.. I used to be content with all the half truths and full lies I tell myself, but I can't take it anymore.. It kills me inside to take everything in now, but better sooner that later rite? If I don't do it now, I don't know when I ever will.. Each day in our lives, we go that extra mile for that 1 person in our lives.. At times there maybe more than 1 person, but many times, that 1 person matters the most.. You would go that extra mile for others, but that extra mile will NEVER be for me.. I finally see that now..
  • It's easy for me to type all this out, but for me to accept it? Just about one of the hardest things ever.. Simply because I've been lying to myself.. Convincing myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, 1 of the extra miles might be for me.. It's never going to happen.. The situation is so bleak that at times, I even find it amusing.. Why, you might ask? Well, it's simple.. I find myself amusing.. I find my inability to move on, and my incompetence in letting go a classic case of stupidity.. I'm at times so stupid that I amaze myself.. What do all the As count for if I cannot even do something that does not need any studying?
  • Life plays its little jokes on us.. A little optical illusion here, a little good news there.. And then, life yanks it all out from underneath us.. And we fall, and fall, into the deep dark hole of tears.. But don't blame life.. Oh, never blame life.. When it happens, blame yourself.. Blame yourself for falling for the tricks.. Blame yourself for letting your guard down.. Blame yourself for ever hoping for more than what you deserve to get..
  • And so, I blame me now.. For being such a fool.. For allowing myself to fall into that deep dark hole.. For lying to myself.. For hoping, and constantly hoping, that things might be different.. For always wanting to run that extra mile for you, because it now makes everything harder.. Finally, for allowing life to play its tricks on myself.. I never thought it'll happen to me.. But life dealt its cards..
And here I am...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Shaun Lim made me do this..

Ok this is highly ridiculous.. But I realised that in my previous post, I'm 1 post away from having 70 posts in 10 months.. Cuz my blog was started in March.. And so happen, I spoke to Shaun Lim n told him this.. And he said to make it 70 la.. By crapping and saying hi and bye.. I decided not to do that, but instead to tell u what Shaun told me to do.. Hahaha.. So there you have it.. My 70th post.. inspired by Shaun Lim.. Who, by the way, does not have a blog.. And claims he will only start one after he jumps off Mount Everest.. (As I said Eu Chien, not possible.. think of something more realistic ok..) 70 posts in 10 months!! Thanks to Lim Eu Chien for the 70th one... Yay me!!*London's style* haha..

plans dashed..

Another short post, I am damn lazy.. haha.. Well, plans din go quite as planned.. Father Leo Chang passed away at 10 plus on the morning.. So as a sign of respect, Sg Long is postponing our caroling to after Christmas(I won't be around).. So today din have caroling, instead we went for mass and prayers.. I must admit I'm kinda sad that got no caroling, but for Father's sake have to la.. At least I did get to bake.. Made raisin chocolate chip muffins.. N I think it was pretty good la.. Haha.. Shall try blueberry muffins next.. When I pass that, I shall do Toblerone Chocolate Cheese Cake.. *hungry* hahaha.. Ok that's it for now.. Wrapping presents tomorrow.. Nitez!!!
  • NS is in 11 days..

Monday, December 15, 2008


Ok, the day was tiring, tiring, tiring, and yet so much fun!! I have tons of pics to upload.. hopefully blogger allows me to do it in the next few days.. too tired now.. haha.. tmr baking spree.. den caroling at nite.. tues presents wrapping spree, den at nite caroling again.. haha.. I am exhausted.. but all this is FUN!!!
  • 12 more days to NS.. sigh..

Saturday, December 13, 2008

stupid but fun stayover..

  • I am bored la k.. so I'm just gonna blog, blog, blog.. haha..
  • Neway, just wanna blog bout a sleepover which I attended ystd.. (Fuyoh, sound so formal.. haha..)
  • Well, it was at Mark Lim's place and the complete attendance of people present were Freddie, Mark, Sherie, and me..
  • Yes a bit sad I know.. Haha.. But what to do la, that dog of Sandy and Ann had to give birth la.. Flora's mom din allow.. So they din come..
  • Well, it was a FUN sleepover.. So wasted we din take ANY pictures at all.. (humans, how can we forget to camwhore la wei? TURN.BACK.TIME!!! Lol..)
  • We basically spent the WHOLE night just talking, laughing, smiling, did I mention talking? haha..
  • People like us just never run outta things to talk bout at all la..
  • After a great deal of talking, we came up with a game which we named People First.. And it was a really interesting game, nth like what I usually play at ALL.. haha..
  • And after much playing, we finally went to sleep at bout 6 something in the morning.. haha.. And woke up at 11 cuz had to send me to piano class.. =.= sad case..
  • Just a shoutout to Fred, Sherie and Mark.. Thanks for the night of fun and laughter.. Love you guys!
(the next time we do this it will be after I come back frm NS la..) sadness, sadness, sadness, sadness!!

tagged.. again..

  • 1. Do you think you're hot?
Erm, I am not perasan, so I shall say I think I am OK.. Haha..
  • 2. Upload a fav pic of you
  • 3. Why do you like that picture?
It's my amazing classmates from 5 Intan.. What's not to like?
  • 4. When was the last time you ate pizza?
ohhhh I remember.. haha.. It was a day after prom.. 6th Dec.. During Musicians prac in church..
  • 5. The last song you listened to?
Love story by Taylor Swift
  • 6. What are you doing right now besides this?
Viewing videos in youtube
  • 7. What name would you prefer besides yours?
I love my name.. Especially now that I am Amanda Janelle Quah Yu-Li.. haha.. I would not say I prefer these names more than mine.. but I like them.. Alana, Athalia just to name a few.. haha..
  • The 5 Tagged Friends
  1. Freddie
  2. Mark
  3. Renu
  4. Lis
  5. Shaun(seriously go get a blog la you.. haha..)
  • 8. Who is number 1?
oh that one ah.. he is family.. haha.. literally like an older bro from diferent mother and father..
  • 9. Number 3 is having a relationship with?
ERRRR.. Am i allowed to say his name here?? haha.. oh well.. P**v**d.. hehe..
  • 10. Say something about number 5?
Probably the only person capable of cracking lame jokes to make me laugh while I'm crying.. haha..
  • 11. How about number 4?
My one-heart-partner, my Godsis, my amazing friend whom I am SUPER proud of now..
  • 12. Who is number 2?
Can be called my best guy friend la.. Lol.. a very understanding person who's nice to talk to..

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I miss you guys..

  • DAMN LA.. how can I be so happy 1 minute and then so depressed the next?
  • I need to blog this out la k.. So pls don't mind me..
  • I think talking to Renu just now completely changed my mood.. (I'm not blaming u, Renu, dun worry k..)
To those who do not know I am going NS la k.. on the 27th of dec.. Well, I was originally upset but after a while I thought it would be a good thing la.. I mean, a lot of people said that they do have fun there, so y not right? I was pretty ok bout it, Sandy also helped make me more positive bout it.. Besides, I need to getaway frm this place la k.. I know we cant run, but at the moment I just need to go away for a while la.. Never gave much of a thought edi.. until maybe ystd, n today..
  • Someone said that my plan to go away might backfire on me instead.. And I never wanted to think bout it, but I have to admit, there's a very high possibility of that happening..
  • And then I realise, I'm so gonna miss everyone.. My family, my friends..
  • It's so difficult to put this into words now.. I dunno why cuz I usually dun hv a prob with words..
  • I never gave much of a thought bout finishing sch cuz I've been busy bout prom..
  • While talking to Renu just now, something hit me.. And I realise that I really, really miss my friends..
  • Especially Renu, Naim, Phoeb and Lis..
  • And then it led me to thinking, how am I gonna survive 2 and a half months of not seeing them?
  • Not having those I love for that 2 and a half months.. Even worse, I can oni msg and call them on the weekends..
  • Not even having my church buddies whom I see every week.. missing out on choir practises, playing and singing for mass..
  • The only reason why I'm going through with this is cuz I'm convinced that I need to getaway for a while and that it'll do me good..
  • But now I'm thinking, what if it does not work? and the plan seriously backfires?
  • This is the only thing I can think of now.. my only lifeline.. it HAS to work..
  • And damn I really miss those 4 idiots..
  • (Renu, u better hv meant what u said.. drive to pd and find me k!!)
  • Not only them, i'll miss the choir ppl too..
  • Fred, Flora, Ash, Sher, Mark, Shaun, Sandy..
  • God better make this work.. Cuz if it doesnt, I'm going away and losing time that I can spend with my loved ones for no reason..
this is getting way WAY too emo for me.. I gotta go.. And talk to someone who can make me laugh..

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Prom 2008

Ok I am sick of trying to upload pics for prom.. so shall blog bout it with no pics la.. For the pics go to Lene, Glynn, Charissa, Naim's blogs.. And head on to facebook ok people..
Prom 2008:Fantastic Frenzy of Fabulosity was...
  • Amazing
  • Breath-taking
  • Crazy
  • Dramatic
  • Enigmatic
  • Fun
  • Great
  • Hilarious
Do you really want me to continue with the adjectives? haha.. I highly doubt that la rite.. So here you go my review of prom.. haha..
  • Firstly, thank you and thank you again to the amazing committee!! (Yay us we made it happen!!)
  • Naim and Lene, you guys made an amazing pair.. Great MC-ing..
  • Ira, Wern, Ann, Lis, Phoeb and Renu..good job..
  • It was chaotic, things went wrong here and there with some hiccups, but it was great la..
  • Music was AWESOME!!
  • After class stories did an AMAZING job.. After the first few songs, they got everyone on their feet, dancing and shouting to the songs..
  • Mark, Shaun, Dan, John and Sam, u guys kicked ass that night!! (Hopefully you know whose asses im talking bout la.. lol..) Keep up the good work k..
  • The rock and roll band were REALLY good too.. And the Dj played amazing songs for us to dance to..
  • the food actually kinda sucked la from all the feedback I got.. But screw the food la.. Not a priority.. haha..
  • I had a BLAST dancing nonstop.. special appreciation to my two FANTABULOUS buddies, Phoebe Lim and Nadzratun Naim for dancing with me the whole night..
  • And we were so lucky k, we got to dance with the band, after class stories.. haha..
  • Ohhhh... A shoutout to the newly crowned prom king and queen, Kong Chee Zhen and Ng Suet Huey..
  • I feel so proud of everyone for making it work, most importantly making it a HUGE success..
  • To those who were not there, you missed out on one hell of a party la.. your loss.. haha..
  • I still feel like dancing.. Care to join me??

Sunday, December 7, 2008

random again

I know I'm supposed to be blogging bout prom.. But blogger refuses to allow me to upload pics, and I do not wanna blog without pics.. so that'll have to wait.. haha.. But what I do wanna say, is something random.. was reading lotsa old stuff, and I came across a lot of things.. And as I'm reading, I am reminded of many things..
  1. I have amazing friends..
  2. I need to be strong always..
  3. God works in many ways..
  4. I'm asking for trouble when I trust people who have hurt me before..
  5. At times, even the closest of friends make you feel abandoned..
  6. I was not happy with my life a year ago..
  7. I was insecure, jealous and selfish.. maybe I still am??
  8. People can shock the hell outta you..
  9. Most bad incidents don't come alone..
  10. Not everyone gets their happy ending..
I'm not emo.. That's for certain.. But sometimes, it's good to ponder on history so you don't end up making the same mistakes.. Sometimes, we need all the glue we can get, just to hold ourselves together..

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I cannot wait!

  • Omg I cannot wait!!!
  • Prom is TOMORROW!!!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

random tag..

ok I know i said I got no time to blog, but I'm a little bored now.. so here goes.. haha..
  • 1. What’s your ambition?
  • What kinda ques is this? haha.. I dunno la..
  • 2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boy/girlfriend?
  • Don't have a boyfriend, but even if I do, my dearest kick-ass friends are more important for sure..
  • 3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
  • haha.. I jokingly say it la, but no I will not do it..
  • 4.What if you found out that your wife/husband is having an affair ?
  • I have no idea I cant imagine..
  • 5. How many babies you want?
  • It's a bit early to think bout things lk dat rite?
  • 6. Favorite perfume/fragrance
  • currently it's probably still Chanel's Coco Mademoiselle..
  • 7. What do you think will be your greatest downfall?
  • Oh, a lot la.. my laziness, indecisiveness, stubbornness, inability to keep my big mouth shut, falling for all the wrong sort of guys.. lol to the last one..
  • 8. Do you believe in eternal love?
  • Yes I definitely do.. But whether or not It's for me, I dunno..
  • 9. What's a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend like to you? (List 10)
  • Damn, this is depressing.. Loving, understanding, kind, great sense of humour, accepts me for who I am, able to make me laugh n laugh with me, spontaneously romantic, loves God, musician/singer, tolerative to my madness..
  • 10. What feeling do you love most?
  • Being happy.. so happy I just dance around, singing..
  • 11. What are your bad habits?
  • eating too much, sleeping too late, watching too much tv..
  • 12. Is there anything you wanna tell the people who hate you?
  • I don't care what you think.. U hating me, dat's yr prob.. but just wanna let u know it's tiring hating other people.. haha..
  • 13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
  • all my dear close ones for sure.. but there's some out there, I myself am not too sure..
  • 14. What do you hate most in others?
  • liars, backstabbers, people who break promises..
  • 15. What do you crave for the most currently?
  • a hug..
  • 16. What features/quirks do you find totally sexy on a guy/girl?
  • the smile makes me go weak.. and those EYES!! haha..
  • 17. Describe the person who tagged you in 7 words.
  • this is pathetic but no1 tagged me.. I just did this cuz I was too bored.. lol..
  • 18.What have you done to yourself to make yourself happy?
  • laugh, spend time with frens, bought new shoes!!
  • 19. What will you become in another 10 years to come?
  • a 27 yr old who's happy with life, happy with my job, and hopefully, living my happily ever after with my true love.. haha..
  • 20. What is something you will never regret doing?
  • going for bungee rocket in New Zealand.. I was bloody scared but it so totally rocked!! haha.. the adrenaline pumping was amazing.. I wanna sit again!!
Tagging time now..
  • Naim
  • Renu
  • Flora
  • Shaun(If u read this, it's time to get a blog!! haha)
  • Freddie
  • Sammie

quick one!!

  • Ok spm is finally officially over.. was over since mon, but I have been busy, busy, BUSY!!
  • Prom preparations are taking its toll on me..
  • 2 days of insane shopping, today whole day of glue and glitter..
  • I know i said I'll be updating bout Lis's bday..
  • Unfortunately, I cant.. haha.. No time..
  • So da next time I update it'll probably be after prom..
  • I can't wait!! Hopefully, everything will turn out allright..
  • I am super worried.. All those who wanna come, you still can!!
  • So excited.. Bought new shoes again!! haha..
  • Ok I gotta go!!
  • PROM!!! haha..