Friday, January 6, 2012

Haunted.

1st post of 2012, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! :) So far it's been awesome. Christmas has been awesome, New Year too. My pictures from facebook will tell you that indeed :D


But the studying mood has kicked in, or rather was forced to kick in cuz exams are just around the corner and I'm nowhere even near halfway prepared for them. So difficult to switch from that happy partying mood to a full on nerd mode :( Sighhhh.


On a randomer side note, I'm haunted. All the time. By my own thoughts and dreams, my conscious AND unconscious thinking. I don't know how long I can go about like this. I really should have written down all my reasons and thoughts right then when I decided on them when I got back from camp. (Yes it sounds like I'm not making sense, at least not to you :P)


Why is it so hard for me to make a decision and to stick to it? Sigh, I know the answer to that actually. But I'd really rather not answer that. See how now brown cow? Too late already, I don't feel as determined as I did when I first got back from camp. Gaaahhhhhhh :( I could slap myself, really.


It's just so easy to make me lose focus and to make my will go weak and to hit me and make me say okay I change my mind. I've become way too nice after leaving high school. All the high school people will be so amazed with this "always kena bully, always kena tease and always let ppl take advantage of, miss do not say no to ppl when they ask for favours" version of me. Now I'm just crapping with such a passion I'm amazing myself.


I'm such a failure. Really. Kthxbai.